A difficult subject...

long term plans for the future of Son the Elder.

It is clear that he won't be living independently. Nor will he earn a living or raise a family.

It would be easier, more comfortable, to let the matter go for as long as possible. The danger in that is that I and/or my wife might reach room temperature before resolving issues related to his care.

We resolved long ago that we would not intentionally leave our first born's future to our daughter (the Eldest) or to Son the Younger. Should my wife and I depart this life suddenly, our confidence in their ability to make sound decisions is total. It is not their responsibility though, and should not be part of their inheritance.

I have been doing some research, early stages mind you, and have determined that their are two options we should consider. One is local, the other would require him to move - which will require US to move.

One is Bethesda Lutheran Communities. Very highly regarded, well established... and across the country.

The other is the Tammy Lynn Center. Very highly regarded, reasonably well established... but without a clear tie to his faith.

That last point is perhaps inconseqential while we live -- we're only staying awhile though, then...

well, our Pastor and our congregation will be there for him until? Two or three Pastors out and another generation who does not know him (like Pharoah and Joseph?)

Besides, after I retire in a few years a move might prove a welcome adventure.

Son the Elder will be living with us for several years yet -- another post ahead on that.

We're still in preliminary stages as we think on all of this. We would rather think carefully and over considerable time than make a sudden decision after a death or our own aging kicks us in the head (that can happen after a fall).

Some interesting years are ahead, not easy, but very interesting.